Admission Advice > Improving Your Chances

Getting Into College Without Going Crazy

By Lynn Welbourn

Even if you and your friends aren’t all applying to the same schools...

Even if you and your friends aren’t all applying to the same schools, you probably are aware of who is already visiting colleges and conducting online searches, who has begun interviewing, and who plans to apply Early Decision.

In its best form, this new peer pressure can be supportive and motivating, even for those whose coping tactics include delaying for as long as possible. At its worst, though, it makes the exciting transition from high school to college more stressful than it needs to be.

David is a good example of the stress factor. After a marathon week of college visits, he and his parents identified a list of schools to consider.

As he began organizing application materials, his mom noticed that her personal favorite college was missing. When she asked David about it, he said he’d decided not to apply. “But you loved it when we visited! What gives?” “Well, Julia loves it more, and for her it’s a reach. If I apply, I might mess up her chances.” “Is Julia a good friend?” “Sorta.” “So a ‘sorta’ good friend is more important in deciding where to apply than what you think of the college?”

Parents are sometimes baffled by such reasoning, but students know that whatever Julia might mean to David later, right now they live overlapping lives. College is the future, but life is right now.

Every student needs to feel that they’re in control of their college plans, even when he or she is bewildered by the details and unsure about what may lie ahead. With all this anxiety over getting in, what can you do to keep your cool? Here are a few suggestions.

Focus on the Fit
Focus on finding colleges that fit you, rather than trying to conform to some imagined notion of what a particular college is looking for. If you look inward a bit, you may find that the prestige of the college, the competitive nature of the academics there, and the cultural/social/world view of the students at Dream College might not match you at all!

As you start getting mail from colleges, don’t let it accumulate. Give each mailing a quick look and set aside the ones that look interesting. Then, visit colleges informally on your own. If you’re working on a project for school, try doing it at a local college’s library. If you already know some college students, plan an overnight visit in their dorm. Go to a game or a concert on campus. People-watch. You’ll see that each college or university has a collective personality. Can you imagine yourself there? Why or why not?

A colleague once said, “Before a college interview, or while writing your college essay, imagine that you are on a second date with the college under consideration.” Not a first date. On a second date, you and the college already know something about each other. Perhaps you’ve already received mail from the college enticing you to apply. So you know they do have some measure of interest in you. Write or speak to them as yourself—your true self.

Excel at the Things You Enjoy
When you plan your activities as a junior or a senior in high school, don’t think, “Well, it will look good to colleges if I join this club or participate in this charity walk.” Really think about how you enjoy spending your time—then kick it up a notch. This means narrowing your activities or employment to just one or two or three things that really mean something to you. Ironically, students and many parents believe that if they blitz their college applications with tons of activities, then colleges will surely be impressed. Exactly the opposite is true. Colleges hope to enroll a well-rounded class of specialized—sometimes even quirky—students.

Music, the environment, art, politics—whatever your interests are, commit to the cause and make real changes! One student I know visited his hometown in China and saw that almost none of the kids his age were in school. It was sobering for him to realize that had he not emigrated to the United States, his life could have been very different. He took that as a challenge to raise enough money to build and staff a school in that town. Observe the world around you and you might find a problem you could begin to solve.

Use Your Resources
Get to know your guidance counselor and the secretary in the Guidance Office. Both have a ton of knowledge about colleges, deadlines, and applications. If they know you well, they’ll be more able to help you. And you can ask them to help you map out what needs to be done when. Post the plan on your fridge so that you and your family can keep track of details and deadlines.

Then there’s the resource you’ve had all along: your family. Keep them involved and rely on each other. Discuss finances, school locales, and the logistics of moving with your parents, and keep them up to date as your ideas change. Remember that it’s also okay to set limits on conversations about colleges, too. Some families plan a weekly meeting to discuss college-related details, with other times being off-limits. This works well if you map out—and stick to—a schedule of everything you need to do and when you need to do it.

Get Started!
One final thing you can do to de-stress the admissions process: start working on a mock application right away. Even if you aren’t sure where you want to apply, you can do this by going to the Common Application website or the website of almost any college you are interested in.

Too many students think college applications are hard to figure out. In reality, they’re not. Do you know your name and address? The month in which you took the SAT or ACT? Can you find out where and when your parents went to school? Then you can fill out virtually any college application.

You get the idea. This application process really is all about you. It sounds difficult, but once you get into it, you will grow and be changed for the better. And best of all, you will probably choose a school that fits you, rather than the other way around.

Lynn Welbourn is an independent college admission counselor based in Massachusetts. She can be reached at thecollegelady@yahoo.com.

2009